I will be honest up front and say that I have sat staring at the "new post" page on my blog everyday for the past week. I have been terrible at updating and a week ago today I made a new commitment to update more regularly but the things that I put on here seem so trivial now.
Last Wednesday morning I woke up to find out that a friend of mine had tragically passed away after falling from his tree stand. I have been trying to put in to words what is going through my mind all week but it all seems too much to write down. Maybe this is too public of a place and that is what scares me.
This tragedy has shattered the hearts of so many. People I love and care about so deeply. The Rochester College community was, and still remains, an incredible blessing to me. A special bond is created when you attend such a small Christian school. A special bond was especially created in the Rochester College Acapella chorus that I had the privilege of being a part of for 3 years. It was in choir that I met Jeremy and Veronica. Jeremy was a gifted singer and worship leader. He was an incredible man of God with a fire for life. He could make you laugh for hours about the silliest things. Veronica and Jeremy both played a huge role in my decision to be re-baptized in September of 2004. They were there for me when I struggled with the decision to change my major and they were there when Phil and I started dating and 4 years later when we were married.
My heart hurts for Veronica, who yesterday buried her best friend, her rock, her husband. My heart aches for their children, four year old Faith and three year old Caleb, who think the world of their dad and will have to adjust to life without him. My heart aches for Carter, Jeremy and Veronica's unborn son who will never meet his incredible daddy. My heart aches for Jon, Steve, Chris, David, Dan and many others who lost their best friend.
I am feeling numb, shattered, guilty, heart broken, and at a loss for words. I am struggling with feelings of selfishness, hurt, anger and confusion. I have been walking around feeling numb.
I know that my God hurts along with me. I know that I am being called to a new higher standard of living. I know that Jeremy is in heaven praising our God in the largest most beautiful choir we could ever imagine. I know that one day we will meet again.
Please continue to keep Veronica and her sweet children in your prayers as they adjust to this new reality.
If you would like to help donations can be sent to the Rochester Church of Christ, 250 Avon Road, Rochester Hills MI 48307 (memo = "member care" or directly deposited to any Chase Bank. Deeper Still Ministries - Acct #879368868 - all proceeds for deeperstill are now being directed straight to Veronica. If you would like to send an encouraging note I would be happy to pass along Veronica's email address to you or you are welcome to visit her blog.